School Days: Preschool
by Zelda12343
Summary: Coriolanus Snow and Alma Coin both want to take over the world, and what better way to start than to become teachers and get their class' support? But their class turns out to be more than they can handle... First in my School Days series. AU.
1. Snow and Coin, TEACHERS!

**Preschool: Before the beginning (AKA Prologue)**

**Author's note:** _Okay, I'm sort of obsessed with the Hunger Games right now. Literally obsessed. I got caught in the fanbase and right now, it's my main fanbase. As a result, the rest of my stories are getting ignored… :(. Sorry, other stories._

_Anyways, I've been looking on DeviantArt, and found a few pictures of the HG characters as school-age kids, and came up with this idea. It'll start in preschool, but will continue on for their whole school career. I have one warning, and that is that some of the characters (or all of them) are counted as OOC. Well, what do you expect? 1-it's an AU in which the Hunger Games do not exist and they're all in school in America. 2-They are freaking preschoolers. They are going to act their age. Well, with one notable exception…hee hee hee._

* * *

It was only the first day at Laurel Pre-K, and already, Coriolanus Snow was in a bad mood.

Of course he had had to have the brilliant idea that becoming a teacher would help him in his quest for world domination (indoctrinating young people and all that factored into it), and look where it had gotten him: babysitting a bunch of kids just out of diapers who knew how to do literally nothing other than nap (well, as it turned out later, it would've been easier if that was all they could do). Saying that Snow wasn't the sort of person for that type of job was a major understatement. He hated babies. He hated toddlers. He hated giggling children. In general, he just hated children. He hated the whole class already, though he'd never met any of them. And he hated the parents, too. _I mean, only someone on drugs would name their kid Katniss_, he thought. _I mean, seriously, who named their kid after food_? Well, apparently a lot of people did. There was a Peeta on the role as well. Almost as bad as if they'd spelled it right and named whoever it was Pita Mellark instead of Peeta Mellark. And who named their kid Foxface? Yes, there was a Foxface Adams on the list as well. Snow hated that kid, but he pitied whoever it was as well. And not even people on drugs would name their kid Beetee. Or Wiress. Only Martians would name their kids that. Stupid, drug-taking, alien parents. Then again, his name was Coriolanus. He shouldn't have been talking, really.

Besides that, he hated his classroom. It was too friendly and infantile. Their were bright-colored numbers and letters adorning the wall. There were bright-colored pictures on the wall as well, depicting days of the week or colors. There were too many cute animals on the wall as well. Smiling animals. Baby animals. Badly-colored animals. Seriously, for god's sake, bears weren't BLUE! Whoever was running the school system had no clue how to teach the kids to live in the real world. Ugh.

Finally, he hated his scowling teaching assistant. She was almost as ugly as he was. And almost as old. She had already watched him trip on the door mat and laughed, put her books on his desk, told him that his lunch was almost as hideous as his face, and had laughed at him. A lot. In other words, kids, school never ends. Snow, however, was now frightened. What if the children turned out to be as mean as Alma Coin, his teaching assistant, had?

"You know that you're the ugliest person I ever met?" Coin asked him casually as she began to write on the board.

"You know you're the stupidest person I ever met?" Snow shot back at her. "You misspelled 'Good Morning!' again."  
"It's not as though any can read," she said carelessly and flung the marker away. Snow, sighing, picked it up and replaced it on his desk in an unlabelled drawer with nothing else in it. Finally, he could label that drawer. And label he did. He labeled it 'For killing Alma Coin'. Underneath that, he labeled 'To be used ASAP.'

Suddenly, he heard a car stop in the parking lot. It appeared that the first kid was here. Dang it.

Scowling, Coin walked over to the door, coolly holding it open as the child toddled in, looking up at Coin with a smile on her small face. Snow secretly hoped that Coin would find it in herself to gain some decency and behead the child then and there, effectively decreasing their class size and saving the world from another little brat, but all Coin did was look down at the child in the most imposing way possible and scowl. As soon as the little girl had made it in, Coin, calling her a word that won't be repeated here, slammed the door shut. A shout of outrage from outside plainly said that the parents were there.

"My mommy is always telling me not to slam doors," the girl prattled in her four-year-old excuse of proper English. If one has ever heard a small child talk, they'll know what this one sounded like. High-voiced, bad consonants, the whole shebang. Snow immediately hated her more than he hated the rest of the class, as she had come in first. Stupid child. He wished he could kill her and eat her for lunch. Or maybe hang her as an example to the other children.

"Does she now? Well, news flash, I'm not your mommy," Coin replied in a patronizing tone, pulling the door open for the child's parents. Snow instantly could tell that the child had taken after her father. Both had the same gray eyes, the same olive skin, the same straight, black hair. Snow didn't like people with black hair. The mother, however, with her blond hair, blue eyes, and pale skin, didn't fare much better in Snow's book. He didn't like blondes either. As a matter of fact, he considered telling blonde jokes so she would leave. The fact that she was pregnant wouldn't help her. Another brat on the way for Snow to babysit. Ugh.

"Hello. You must be Mr. Snow," the man said with a pleasant smile. Snow smiled in response, hoping that a show of pleasantness would get him out the door really fast. However, he looked like an evil snake. In other words, smiling was a failure for Snow.

"I am. The teacher," Snow replied. "And that is my, ah, lovely assistant, Mrs. Coin." Coin scowled at him. She'd heard the sarcasm in his voice all too well. However, the small toddler smiled at her and held out her hand. Coin scowled more, waiting for the child to withdraw her hand. However, the child just kept holding her hand out until Coin realized that touching the scumbag's hand was inevitable and disdainfully shook it.

"And that's Katniss," the man continued pleasantly, either oblivious to Snow and Coin's coldness or ignoring it. "She's daddy's little girl, isn't she?" he continued, tickling her. The girl giggled and walked over to the carpet, where she sat down right in the front row. Well, the parents didn't seem too addled. Why, then, had they named their child after food?

"Let's hope that the next one is mommy's little girl," the woman behind him smiled, patting her stomach affectionately. Snow and Coin were at a loss at how to deal with these revolting and altogether too-nice parents. Perhaps the best way to get them out was to prove that Katniss would be well taken care of. Coin walked over to her, bent down on one knee, and smiled. In other words, she made Snow look downright pleasant when he smiled.

"Is that your lunchbox?" she asked in a pathetic attempt at friendliness. "Here. Let me take it from you and put it in your cubby." With that, Coin wrenched the lunchbox out of the girl's hand (causing her to giggle more) and tossed it into one of the cubbies with disgust.

"Wrong cubby!" the girl squealed, thinking it was all a game. Snow and Coin had never hated anyone so much as they hate this little girl. "That's not my name!" With that, she grabbed the lunchbox, began hunting through each of the cubbies, and finally found her name. Grinning once again, she stuffed her lunchbox in the cubby, kissed her mommy and daddy goodbye, and toddled to the carpet.

"Oh, pardon me," her dad's voice was as clear as a bell outside.

"More brats," snapped Coin. Katniss acted like she hadn't just heard her. Chances were that she hadn't.

"Door duty," Snow snapped at her. She just sighed and nodded, pulling open the door-

And not jumping out of the way fast enough. She was trampled by a plethora of little kids. The rest of the class had just arrived, in one huge mob. Parents followed behind them, a few apologizing to Coin and trying to help her up after the herd of shrieking children had passed, though most were busy kissing their children goodbye. Snow watched the entire scene with disgust. There were so many little children! What was the government thinking, shoving so many into one class like that? And if he hated them all as much as he already hated little Katniss, this was going to be a very long day.

Screw that. It was going to be a very long year.

* * *

**Author's note:** _A few things in here. First of all, all of the known tributes and victors will be in one class, as well as a few friends and assistants (Ex: Madge, Gale, Cinna, Portia, Effie, Boggs, Cressida, etc.). They're all the same age in this, (Even Mags and Rue are four as well as Katniss, Peeta, Madge, and the like). However, Prim and the other known younger siblings will be in another class. Don't ask me why I did that. I just felt like it._

Also, I thought it would be funny if Foxface wasn't just her nickname, but her actual name.

_Regarding the Everdeens: I believe that Prim is about four years younger than her sister. As Katniss is four at this point in the story, it makes sense that Prim will be born sometime this year in the story._

_And about why Snow and Coin hate Katniss in this more than anyone else: though this is an AU and there will be no 'Mockingjay' or anything like that, I figured I'd stick to canon in that Snow and Coin despise her. Though in this, it's for being the first child in classroom on their first day ever of teaching… lol._

_Finally, I named the school 'Laurel' because laurel wreaths were bestowed upon victors in ancient Greece. Not all of the kids are victors, but a significant portion are. And I know classes aren't usually as large as theirs will be, but this is called 'fan fiction'. I'll try to be both as canonically and otherwise accurate, but I make no promises._

_Any suggestions fro some of the characters' personalities? I have it mostly figured out, but I'd appreciate suggestions._

Did you know that reviews make me happy, and when I'm happy, I write faster? Please take a moment and review.


	2. The Four Fs

**Preschool: Fights, friends, fashion, and falling in love**

**Author's note: **_This chapter introduces five of my favorite characters (and two that I like okay), and I had a lot of fun with it. Please don't ruin my fun by flaming._

* * *

"Excuse me, sir?" a very high, but rather clear voice asked as Snow felt a small hand tug on his pants leg. He looked down to see a small boy with pale-ish skin, black hair, and, of all things, glasses. _Really?_ Snow thought angrily. _A preschooler with glasses? What is this world coming to? It's not as though he can read! He won't need glasses for several years! Geez, what a spoiled brat he must be if his parents get him stuff like that._

"What is it?" Snow snapped. Seeing as the child didn't even flinch, he added, "And get that grimy hand of yours off of my pants this instant!" The child immediately dropped his hand, and Snow realized that he had just made a mistake. What if his parents had seen that? Looking around and seeing that no one there was casting a second glance at them, he assumed that the little boy was here on his own. Well, that made yelling at him alright. Who knew what he'd been touching before he had come in?

"Sir, I just wanted to point something out," the boy began. Like most preschoolers, he had a very high voice, but spoke with unusual clarity. It was like talking to a very small adult. Ugh. Snow hated adults almost as much as he hated children. Another child to hate in particular.

"Go on, brat," Snow commanded.

"My name isn't 'brat'. It's Beetee," the boy declared.

_Oh no. It's the Martian child._

"Besides, I just wanted to tell you that you spelled 'Good Morning' wrong. You wrote Good G-O-D-E and morning 'M-O-O-R-K-N-I-N'. Are you positive that you are the teacher? Most can spell properly."

"That was my assistant, actually," Snow said peevishly. "Go talk to her about it, Bertram."  
"It's Beetee, actually," the boy mumbled as he walked off. "Why does everyone always get it wrong?"

Snow had only really met two of his class and he already hated the lot. Katniss was bad enough, but this Martian child seemed to be a genius. Dang it. Harder to control. Maybe when he was older, he'd blow up the classroom with a crazy invention of his and get Snow and Coin in trouble. Maybe Coin would be willing to stab him with her lunch utensils and get him out of the way later.

Oh well. They'd have to be careful of this little boy. Geniuses were dangerous. So were Martians. Put the two together to get a genius Martian, and you had a child to fear.

* * *

Not looking closely where he was going, Beetee suddenly bumped into another of the young children, who had been staring dazedly out the window. It was obvious that she didn't have any parents here either, but unlike Beetee, who had walked to school himself and enjoyed it, it was also clear that she wasn't the most capable preschooler. She was rather small for her age, like him, with pale skin, bright eyes, and very tangled hair. Her clothes were also similar to his, but rather ragged and uncared for. It seemed as though she didn't have any parents with her, and that she wasn't particularly good at caring for herself.

The two children landed on the ground in a heap. Beetee immediately blushed and looked away, certain that everyone now thought he was a klutz, but then again, he had an unusual maturity and intelligence level, and he was assuming of course that everyone else in the room did as well. In reality, no one even noticed the two children who were unwitting victims of a collision. Well, one boy did. Gloss del Sol pointed and laughed hysterically for awhile. However, no one noticed him.

"I'm terribly sorry, terribly sorry! Didn't see you there," Beetee immediately started apologizing, once again using a very mature vernacular. The girl regarded him inquisitively for a moment as he pulled himself up, then pulled herself up as well, her eyes not leaving him for an instant.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, noticing for the first time how dazed she looked.

"Don't feel anything, so..." the girl trailed off.

"So, logically, nothing's the matter," Beetee finished for her. She looked at him for a moment before realizing what he'd meant and nodded.  
"Pleased to make your acquaintance. My name is Beetee, _not _Bertram, and _not _brat, either. What's your name?" Beetee offered her his hand. She looked a little shy, but took it and nodded.

"I'm Wiress, and I don't like talking," the girl mumbled.

As Snow walked across the room to halfheartedly break up a fight between two little girls, he happened to hear the girl mention her name.

_Damn it. The other Martian child's here as well._

If Snow thought his mood was about to improve now that whatever-his-n

"I will do the talking for both of us. In return, you can be my friend. You seem pretty smart. Do you know what a kilowatt is?" Beetee had taken her by the hand and was leading her to the carpet. The girl's face brightened and she nodded. "Splendid! We'll get along just fine!"

Snow just shook his head. The Martian children, both obviously intelligent, had met and were friends. This was going to be... a problem. A big problem. Well, he shouldn't have been worried about something like that. He had to break up a fight between two of the little girls.

The two were rolling around on the floor near the snack tables, exchanging the four-year-old excuses for punches. Snow secretly hoped that they'd kill each other, but after a few parents looked pleadingly at him, he sighed, wishing he could cut out their tongues, and walked over to the children. Grabbing one of the girls, he lifted her up by the scruff of her neck, letting her continue to try to punch him. Finally, she just sighed and asked him to put her down.

Immediately, Snow dropped her in a heap. She began to spout all types of choice words that four-year-olds shouldn't know, even giving Snow the finger once or twice. The other girl just pouted and looked innocently at Snow, her long, blonde hair a mess and her wide, green eyes pleading.

"Stop with the puppy expression," Snow snapped at her. "And as for you, whatever your name is, don't swear at your teacher. Hasn't your mother ever told you not to."

"It's Johanna," the short-haired brunette said grouchily in reply. "And I don't have a mother. But the head of the orphan house said I could swear all I like."

"Oh, and I assume she said you could go to school naked as well?" Snow asked her patronizingly.

"She did, actually."

"Well, then, come to school naked for all I care!"

"I will!" Johanna stormed off. The other girl looked sadly at Snow.

"She scares me," the girl said in her quavering voice.

"Well, serves you right! Why did she start fighting you, anyways?" Snow was trying to put on a pleasanter face because the parents were here.

"I started fighting her," the girl replied matter-of-factly. "She called you an old fogy."

"SHE DID? I'M KILLING THAT LITTLE ***** THE FIRST CHANCE I GET!" Snow was very angry by now, not caring if the parents were there or not. Over at the carpet, Wiress jumped at his loud tone.

"He was not talking about you. He was talking about the little imp, Johanna," Beetee told her, trying to calm her down. "She attempted to remove my glasses on the way to school and throw them down a sewage drain. However, I foresaw an attack of the nature of this one and put magnets on the ends of the glasses. As one of the things I always carry around is a magnet, all I had to do was tie a cord to it and lower it into the sewage drain. My glasses were back in no time, and I even managed to find some time to clean them off." Wiress' eyes shone in excitement, while Coin gave a shout of disgust. The brat's glasses had been in a sewage drain! Disgusting.

Snow didn't hear, however. He was listening to the small girl in front of him, who claimed her name was Cashmere del Sol, tell him about how she planned to get rid of Johanna. He found himself liking one of the children for once. Well, no, not _liking _one of the little brats, but at least being able to tolerate her.

"And now my dress is ruined," pouted Cashmere. "Johanna tore it."

"I'll make you a new one!" cried a boy behind her. "I made my shirt!"

"You mean you made that grubby old patchwork?" Snow said crabbily to the boy. He was indeed wearing a shirt that appeared to be made of a thousand different types of cloth, everything from felt to silk that appeared to have come from his mother's dress.

"I'm Cinna," the boy held out his hand to the girl, his golden eyes fixing her with a very intense gaze for his young age.

"Cashmere," the girl replied.

"You mean like the fabric?" the boy asked excitedly. Snow, shaking his head, walked away. While not as potentially problematic as the Martians, Cinna was one to watch out for. And Cashmere? Well, for once, Snow didn't hate one of his class members.

* * *

The last child to come through the door was unnoticed by all except his father, who was holding his hand protectively.

Like Katniss, it was obvious where the boy's features came from. Both father and son were pale, blue-eyed, and had long, curly blonde hair. The little boy had a gap between his two front teeth that his father lacked, but otherwise, he looked like a miniature of his father.

"Will you be okay, sweetie?" the father asked him.

"I will, daddy. But I only know Delly Cartwright," the boy replied sadly. "I'll be lonely."

"Well, _I _know someone, or at least the daughter of someone," the father told him gently, stooping to his level and pointing towards a small girl with dark hair and grey eyes. Katniss Everdeen.

"I fell in love with her mommy, you know," the father explained. "However, her mommy preferred someone else to me. A coal miner."

"Who would want a coal miner when they could have you, daddy?" the boy asked confusedly, staring at the girl.

"Her daddy could sing so well that the birds stopped singing when he came around," the father replied quietly.

"I'll keep an eye on her," the little boy announced, hugging his father goodbye. "'Bye, daddy."

"'Bye, Peeta," the father hugged his son in reply before standing up and walking away, noticing with a small smile that Peeta's eyes didn't leave Katniss once, even when a laughing Delly grabbed his hand and escorted him to the cubbies to put their lunch boxes away...

* * *

**Author's note: **_I personally loved that last scene. I get that it actually happened canonically, but if you have a problem with that, please don't flame me. _

_Also, I'll be doing roll call in the next chapter, so the rest of the characters are introduced. However, so far, the personalities are as follows:_

Katniss: normal four-year-old but hated by Snow and Coin

Peeta: Shy, already in love with Katniss

Johanna: A very profane orphan, cantankerous

Cashmere: Suck-up

Beetee: Genius with an incredibly unusual intelligence and maturity level (acts older than his age), very caring towards his new friend, Wiress

Wiress: Very shy, not very good at talking despite unusual intelligence

Cinna: loves fabric and clothing, designed his own shirt (btw, this wasn't mentioned in the fic, but he cut the pieces out of a variety of sources and glued them together with super glue)

Gloss: Thinks Beetee and Wiress are funny

**Finally, thanks to everyone who reviewed! ***Hands them all chocolate chip cookies*

_Reviews make me happy! Please review!_


	3. Partial role call

**Preschool: Role Call (Until our dear teachers got sick of it)  
**

**Author's note: **_This introduces the rest of Katniss' class. Enjoy!_

* * *

"I think we're supposed to do role call," Coin was examining her schedule in interest. "After they're all on the carpet, at least."

"Alright, kids, sit down on the carpet or I'll punch your lights out!" Snow shouted. However, no one heard him over the din.

"Perhaps you should sing a song," suggested Coin. "Kids relate better to songs."

"Alright, you sing it," Snow ordered her.

"Nah. I'll be recording you and uploading you to YouTube for extra laughs," Coin replied. Snow, very angry at this, decided to sing a song that wouldn't make her laugh. As a result, he sang the following (sung to the tune of Clean up, clean up!)

_Sit down_

_Sit down_

_Or I'll punch out your lights!_

_Sit down_

_Sit down_

_Or I'll punch out your lights!_

Immediately, two of the children started crying, a bunch of others started laughing, and Johanna (who had been in the process of removing her shoes) two boys who looked like they could be Katniss' brothers balled their fists and growled. Snow shook his head. Well, at least Wiress and another little girl with dark hair and green eyes were crying. Beetee was now awkwardly placing one hand on his new friend's shoulder and attempting to calm her down, until finally giving a sigh and saying, "Wiress, seeing as you are not responding to my first line of attempting to calm you down, I shall have to use what is normally called 'a last resort': nursery rhymes."

"I'll sing for myself," Wiress replied and began to quietly sing 'Hickory, Dickory Dock,' a nursery rhyme that she was extremely fond of. Afterwards, Beetee attempted to tell her why the song was illogical as she murmured "Tick, tock. Tick, tock" over and over again.

The other girl, the green-eyed one, was now sitting on the carpet, tracing patterns. Soon enough, a small boy who had somehow misplaced his shirt came and sat down next to her.

"Noticed you were crying earlier. Kids aren't s'posed to cry on the first day," he told her, trying to sound scolding.

"Hey, you, little brat!" Snow yelled. Beetee stood up and was about to give him a piece of his mind when her realized that Snow hadn't been talking about him. He sat right back down next to Wiress, who was now looking out the window and had ceased her whispered mantra of "Tick, tock."

"Who told you that you could lose your shirt?" Snow continued, his attention now aimed at the half-dressed boy.

"A seventh grader said that I'd look better without it," the boy replied.

"Well, it didn't work, did it?" Snow asked patronizingly.

"It did. A bunch of sixth graders came up to me and said I was cute and that I'd be really hot some day," the boy told him matter-of-factly before putting an arm around the green-eyed girl and coaxing her up from her position of lying on her stomach.

"Ugh. The next Taylor Lautner," Coin snapped as she dragged a small girl to the carpet. When she tried to shove her down, the girl sunk her teeth into Coin's arm. Coin began to scream and flail her arm around, but the child's toothy grip on her never loosened, not even the slightest bit. Finally, with a sigh, Coin set the girl down. She released her sharp little teeth from the irate teacher's arm, and grinned. Coin, having quite enough of this annoying child, stuck her middle finger at the grinning girl... and immediately found it in the girl's teeth.

"Would you get this little vampire off me?" Coin screamed. Snow, however, was laughing too hard to care. Finally, another boy stood up and somehow detached the girl from Coin's arm.

"Thank you," said Coin grudgingly.

"You're welcome. Are you Mrs. Coin? You sure look pretty today," the boy declared.

"Really? Well, thank you. What's your name?"

"Boggs," the boy replied.

"What sort of name is that?" she remarked.

"Mine," the boy replied. "Yes, I have a weird name. I wish my name were Coin. That's a beautiful name." Coin smiled (and looked hideous) as little Boggs continued lying through his teeth, praising her many (nonexistent) virtues before sitting down.

"Why do you do that?" Katniss asked him in as quiet of a voice as she could.

"So that she'll like me. Always good to get teachers liking you. That's what brother says, anyway," the boy whispered back.

"Ladies and gentlemen, shut the **** up!" Snow yelled to get attention. Everyone suddenly fell silent, most never having heard the F word before (with the sole exception of the now barefoot Johanna), so they didn't understand, but his tone worried them.

"Alright, you miserable brats, I'm your teacher, Mr. Snow. And that over there is my assistant, Mrs. Coin," the children still didn't like his tone, but most didn't understand them. Well, Johanna did, but she was too busy unbuttoning her shirt. "We'll be doing role call now. It says here in the daily schedule printed up by some bureaucratic fool that when I say your name, you get to stand up and say something about yourself. Pointless. Anyhow, I'll start calling names now, in no particular order, because I defy the government at every turn, and you should as well. Haymitch Abernathy!"

A boy with black hair and bright gray eyes stood up. He was one of the two who could be Katniss' brother, appearance-wise. Snow disliked him already.

"I'm Haymitch. You're the ugliest man I've ever met," the boy said and pointed at Snow before sitting down.

"Think up a better insult next time. I hear that a lot," Snow replied, not really perturbed. "Annie Cresta!"

The green-eyed girl, who had been sitting next to the young Taylor Lautner, timidly stood up and smiled.

"I'm Annie Cresta. I don't like loud noises," she declared.

"TOO BAD!" Coin yelled from her corner. Annie clapped her hands over her ears and sat down very slowly. Shirtless boy put an arm around her.

"Cashmere del Sol!" Snow shouted. The girl from earlier stood up and simpered.

"I'm Cashmere. I like fashion," she declared.

"Gloss del Sol!" Snow called. A boy with the same green eyes and blond hair stood up and waved.

"I'm Gloss. I like knives and fashion," he announced. Wiress suddenly felt an inexplicable jolt of terror and shuddered.

"Scary," she muttered to Beetee.

"I agree. Just to warn you, his parents are some of the most irresponsible people I can think of. They gave him a pocket knife," he replied. Seeing her questioning look, he added, "He was ripping apart falling leaves with one of the blades and laughing evilly this morning as I passed him, walking to school. The thing that bothered me was that his parents were cheering him on." Even as he said that, Gloss sat back down and Snow called the next name.

"Foxface Adams! AKA the stupidest name anyone could ever be given," Snow voiced his earlier opinion as a small girl with orange-red hair and curious eyes stood up.

"Can I eat that?" she asked, pointing to a marble that was on Snow's desk.

"Feel free," Snow replied. Foxface immediately popped the marble in her mouth, meanwhile sneaking one of Snow's pens into her pocket. No one saw that, as they were shocked to see her suddenly start coughing and turn blue. Vaguely aware that he was required by law to do something, Snow watched in disappointment as Shirtless Boy punched her in the stomach and the marble flew out. Gosh, these kids were harder to get rid of than he'd thought.

"Margaret O'Callie!" he called, hoping Margaret had met her death on the way to school. However, a small girl with curly hair stood up.

"Call me Mags," she insisted in a heavily accented voice, even for a four-year-old. "Mum and dad do."

"We'll call you whatever we like, Margaret! Now sit back down," Coin declared. Snow just nodded and called the next name.

"Claudius Templesmith!" Claudius stood up.

"HELLO, THERE! I'M CLAUDIUS TEMPLESMITH! MY MOMMY IS ALWAYS TELLING ME TO SPEAK MORE QUIETLY!" Claudius declared in a booming voice that seemed to reverberate through the room. Annie Cresta started crying, and everyone else put their hands over their ears.

"Shut the h*** up!" Johanna screamed from under her shirt.

"No more profanity, little brat. Sit down, Claudius," Coin declared.

"Lesson #1: And _that _is precisely why loudspeakers took so long to develop," Snow said. "See, kids? School is easy! You learn new things every day!"

"On the contrary-"

"Shut up, Barney! You're ruining my reputation! And if I just made that fact up, deal with it!"

"My name is Beetee," the boy mumbled. Wiress patted his shoulder and went back to looking for the weak place in the wall. Always useful to know.

"Gale Hawthorne!" Snow called. The other boy who looked like Katniss' brother stood up and scowled at Snow before sitting back down again.

"Tell us something about yourself, Gale!" Coin commanded. Gale stood up again, his steely gray eyes flickering in annoyance.

"Mousetraps hung from branches with flowers instead of cheese don't work for trapping hummingbirds," he declared and sat down again. Then, remembering something, he stood up again and continued, "I am going to be a big game hunter some day." Then, he sat down and stayed down.

Snow looked at his list again.

"Caesar Flickerman!" he decided. The boy stood up. He was wearing a blue shirt and jeans, but no one noticed that. They did notice, however, that he had green hair and that he appeared to have colored his eyelids and below his eyes with a green marker.

"See? I match! Do you like that, Mr. Snow?" Caesar asked.

"You look hideous," Snow replied candidly. "For once, I found someone uglier than me."

"Glad you are in a good mood today!" Caesar said cheerfully.

"Sit down before I kill you and eat your heart for lunch," Coin snapped. Caesar flashed her a grin and sat down.

Mumbling something about 'worst parenting skills ever', Snow decided upon the next name.

"Madge Undersee!" Snow shouted. A pretty girl with blue eyes and blond hair stood up. She was wearing a pretty white dress.

"I'm the mayor's daughter," she informed Snow.

"And I'm the son of the emperor," Snow replied. "Of _course _you're not the mayor's daughter."

"I came to school in a limousine," Madge shot back.

"Just sit down, okay?" Coin snapped from her corner. Sighing, Madge sat down.

"Lavinia Freedman! Okay, what's up with all the Roman names?" Snow asked as a girl with bright red hair stood up, nodded a greeting, and sat back down.

"Lavinia, can't you say something?" he asked in a frustrated manner. She stood up and shook her head.

"Lavinia can't talk," the boy sitting next to her explained. "Never has."

"Who are you?"

"Darius Whales."

"Okay, Darius, you're here. Johanna Mason!"

Johanna Mason stood up. Everyone immediately noticed that she was completely and totally naked. Katniss gave a shriek and buried her head in her hands. Enobaria wanted to bite her. Beetee, meanwhile, closed his eyes and covered Wiress' with his hands.

"This is a scene totally unfit for people under the age of eighteen," he told her. She nodded and stopped struggling.

"WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING ANYTHING?" asked Claudius.

"The teacher betted that I couldn't!" she replied.

"Johanna Mason, get some clothing on right now or I'll electrocute you," Snow shouted. Johanna sighed and shook her head. After more threatening, she finally put her clothing back on.

"I'll come naked again," she warned.

"I'll remember to bring my electric chair. Finnick Odair!" Finnick Odair, as it turned out, was shirtless boy.

"Don't look yet," Beetee instructed Wiress and put his hands over her eyes again. "A couple of our classmates appear to have vendettas against clothing." She just nodded.

"Sit back down," Coin ordered him sharply. "Peeta Mellark!"

A boy with curly blond hair and bright blue eyes stood up and looked excitedly at everyone until his eyes rested on Katniss.

"Hello. I'm Peeta Mellark. My parents are bakers," he announced, eyes still on Katniss. She giggled when she saw how hard he was looking at her. Finally, he sat down.

"Ugh, I'm sick of this. Haymitch Abernathy."

"You called me already!"

"Effie Trinket!"

A girl wearing a bright pink wig stood up and grinned.

"Happy School Year! Let's hope we all make our teachers happy!" she chirped and sat down.

"I hate the cheerful ones," Coin muttered. "And I'm sick of this."

"Fine. One more name, then we're done. Katniss Everdeen."

Katniss stood up, and for some reason, the class finally fell silent.

"I'm Katniss Everdeen. My daddy is a coal miner and my mommy is a doctor. We are very poor, but daddy and I sing and are very happy. My mommy says-"

"For GOODNESS sake, sit down, child!" snarled Snow.

"I'm still talking," Katniss replied cheerfully. Suddenly, the class all started murmuring. Snow and Coin were in shock. They'd been sassed by a four-year-old. As soon as she was done, the entire class clapped for her.

"What's the big deal?" Haymitch snapped to Peeta.

"You obviously have no idea. The effect she has," Peeta whispered in reply, looking adoringly at her.

**

* * *

A/N: **For those of you who don't know, the scene with Madge is based on a scene from _Sagwa._

Also, until I think up good last names, this'll be all we get for role call_!  
_


	4. The epic song battle

**Singing time**

**Author's note: **_Wow, a lot of people like this! Thanks again to all the reviewers and subscribers and favoriters. *Hands Sugar Cookies*._

**Disclaimer: **Hunger Games is © Suzanne Collins.

* * *

"Alright, you miserable brats, I just realized that if I don't follow this dumb schedule, I'll be fired," Snow announced to the children.

"Even though I have known him for less than an hour, I sincerely wish that he is fired whether he follows the schedule or not," Beetee commented to Wiress, who by now had focused her entire attention on him.

"Now, it says that we're supposed to sing something. Well, that means Lavinia flunks," Snow continued. Lavinia burst into (silent) tears. "And Claudius had better not sing either. He'll burst our eardrums." Claudius opened his mouth to protest, but Coin shook her head warningly.

"Can we sing 'Ganon Slayer?'" Johanna asked. "I love the bad language and the bada** lyrics!"

"No!" Snow shouted. "We are not singing anything with profanity."

"Can we sing 'Snow and Coin suck?'" Haymitch asked.

"We do NOT suck!" Coin snapped.

"Could've fooled me," Haymitch retorted snappishly and sat down.

"Can we sing 'Rue's Lullaby?'" a small, dark-skinned girl with curly black hair asked.

"And what might your name be?" Snow asked.

"Rue," she replied sweetly.

"No. We're not singing any lullabies," Snow told her. Just sighing, she nodded.

"It says on the board that we're singing 'Song of the Valkyrie,'" Beetee said in confusion. "What song is that, pray tell?"

"No it doesn't! It says 'Song of the Valley!'" Coin yelled at him. "Can't you read, Bartimaus?"

"It's 'Beetee'," Beetee proclaimed. "'Bartimaus' does not even sound like Beetee in the slightest! Besides, you clearly spelled it 'V-A-L-K-Y-R-I-E. And I should know. I can read at the eighth grade level."

"May we sing 'Hickory Dickory Dock?'" Wiress asked quietly. Beetee looked at his normally quiet friend in shock. She'd actually completed a sentence.

"NO!" Snow and Coin yelled at once. "It says on the board that we're going to sing 'Song of the Valley'!"

"It honestly says 'Valkyrie'," Beetee muttered to Wiress.

"I believe you. You're nicer than..." Wiress trailed off, indicating to Snow and Coin. Then, she closed her mouth and sat down again.

"Why didn't you tell us in the first place that we're singing 'Song of the Valley?'" Rue asked.

"I didn't read the board and see," Snow replied.

"Can we sing-"

"NO! WE ARE SINGING 'SONG OF THE VALLEY!'" Coin bellowed.

"Valkyrie," Beetee whispered to Wiress. She suddenly burst into giggles.

"What's wrong with _you?_" Snow asked her critically. Wiress just shrugged.

"Now then. Does anyone know 'Song of the Valley?'" Snow asked the whole class.

"What _is _that song?" Johanna asked.

"Beats me," Haymitch replied.

"Can we sing something that everyone knows? Like 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat?'" Finnick asked. Annie grinned for no reason beside him.

"What's that?" Cinna asked.

"You don't know 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat?'" Annie asked in shock.

"No. I spend all my time in my room or sabotaging mommy's clothing," Cinna replied. "I've made lots of pretty clothing, though."

"Show me sometime," another girl next to him pleaded. "I design stuff too!"

"What's your name?" Cinna asked her.

"Portia."

"Portia, you are now my official best friend," Cinna told her and hugged her.

"Whatever. Who _does _know 'Song of the Valley?'" Snow asked the whole class. Out of all of the kids, one hand raised. Snow sighed. It was that darn Katniss girl.

"Fine, Katniss. Sing the Song of the Valley," Snow told her. Katniss stood up, then, realizing that very few people could see her properly at the back of the room, she walked to the front and climbed up onto one of the chairs. As soon as she was sure everyone coulse see her, she began to sing.

What a beautiful voice she had! As soon as she began, all sound ceased. While none of the kids knew the words, it was still a major success, in Snow's opinion. Well, at least they all shut up for a few minutes.

Peeta watched her as intently as he ever had, certain that he hadfound his one true love. True, he was four, and more likely than not would change his mind within a month, but at that moment, he knew that he was madly in love with Katniss.

As soon as she stopped singing, the room was silent for a few moments. However, suddenly, Claudius broke it.

"THREE CHEERS FOR KATNISS!" he bellowed. Everyone cheered. Except, of course, Snow and Coin. Snow wished that he could blow Katniss to bits as an example to the others. Coin, meanwhile, realized how much of a controlling force Katniss could be if properly manipulated. Maybe she'd asked Katniss to join the cause of world domination. Hopefully, she'd say yes.

And if she didn't, Coin could always make her life hell by giving her straight Fs for the year. That was what bad teachers did, right?

* * *

**Author's note: **_Well, hope you enjoyed that! I love writing about Peeta's little crush on Katniss, and about Beetee and Wiress vs. Snow and Coin._

_Hey, what's your favorite part? Tell me in a review!  
_


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